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Invasive mussel confirmed in Utahs Electric Lake
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Microsoft lets Zune music subscribers keep tunes
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Astronauts end spacewalk to repair gummed-up joint
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Dubai parties at hotel gala despite economic gloom
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Warsaw marks borders of former ghetto
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Pakistan protests to US over deep missile strike
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Afghanistan markets its brand of pomegranates
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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China says 19,000 students died in May earthquake
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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Dems delay auto bailout vote, seek plan from Big 3
Southern Ledger - November 21, 2008
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THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING.
December 23, 2007 -
December 29, 2007
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a.k.a. St. Nicholas a.k.a. Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus")would arrive at sometime thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e., dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of head gear, e.g., kerchief and cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"
Or words to that effect.
###
Steve Gill is a lawyer and statewide Tennessee radio talk host. His website is www.gillreport.com. This lawyerly view of St. Nick’s visit was originally written in 1991 and has since spread throughout the internet. |
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HUGE TAX INCREASE LOOMS FOR TENNESSEE TAXPAYERS. -
December 16, 2007 -
December 23, 2007
Some people say “there’s not a dimes worth of difference between Republicans and Democrats.” They are right, because for Tennessee taxpayers the difference is actually over $1.5 BILLION DOLLARS!
In 2004, thanks to the efforts of Republican Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, taxpayers in Tennessee were put on equal footing with taxpayers in states that rely on a state income tax to fund their state’s operations. But the deductibility of state and local... |
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THE O-ZONE BLANKETS THE NATION. -
December 8, 2007 -
December 15, 2007
Seeking to build upon his growing momentum in Iowa and beyond, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama played his trump card with perfect timing: Oprah Winfrey. A series of “Oprahpalooza” campaign events over the weekend drew huge crowds in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. Obama now hopes to translate the buzz and enthusiasm over Oprah into votes for him in those critical early caucus and primary states.
The public response to the appearance of the daytime diva on the cam... |
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IS AL GORE WAITING IN THE WINGS? -
December 2, 2007 -
December 9, 2007
With roughly a month to go before the Iowa Caucuses the once seemingly unsinkable Hillary Clinton campaign for the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination is showing signs of taking on water. A new Iowa poll puts Barack Obama in the lead in that state for the first time. In the coming weeks he is planning to campaign in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina with star supporter Oprah Winfrey – perhaps the only celebrity who can go toe-to-toe with Bill Clinton when it comes to political clout... |
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TIME FOR THE ANNUAL ASSAULT ON CHRISTMAS! -
November 27, 2007 -
December 3, 2007
It’s become an annual ritual. Each December the Anti-Christmas Crowd (ACC) emerges from hibernation to engage in political correctness run amok. This year we have already seen shopping centers in England tell Santa to exercise and lose weight or risk being sacked. Seems they believe that the epidemic of childhood obesity can actually be traced to kids having a desire to follow in the boot steps and belly roll of Old St. Nick. I guess xBox is off the hook.
Another mall in Australia instr... |
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IS WAITING FOR A CONSTITUTIONAL BAN ON ABORTION REALLY PRO-LIFE? -
November 18, 2007 -
November 25, 2007
When the nation’s largest right to life organization endorsed Fred Thompson last week it sparked some criticism of his pro-life record by his disappointed opponents for the Republican nomination. Thompson produced a 100% pro-life voting record during his eight years in the U.S. Senate, yet some in the pro-life community were dismayed by the National Right to Life endorsement decision and see him as “squishy” on the issue. He believes Roe v. Wade was wrongly decided and should be overturned, but... |
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